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Terrain Map of The Divorce Process

The Terrain Map will take you on a step-by-step journey through the entire divorce process. It will provide you with an overview and a start-at-the-bottom perspective of this uphill battle which should help you integrate the information found in the briefing of the Colonel.

To view individual maps, either scroll down or click on the full map to go to any of the 12 expanded maps.

This map was created on an ancient version of McPaint by Sean Patrick, a gentleman and a scholar, but also a guy who never took an art class. Later, when the Terrain Map is redrawn by somebody who can really draw, we hope it will also provide the basic underlay for a BOARD GAME and CD-ROM GAME, both of which now exist only in the beer muddled dreams of Paddy Lee and Sean.

The first eruption of the volcano may come with an earth-shattering boom that rocks your very existence, or it may have the plaintive sound of a bugler blowing "Taps". Either way, what may be the bloodiest battle of your life is beginning.

Normally it's the first step in the divorce process. If however, you and your soon to be ex are on relatively good terms, you might consider trying to get by without one. Click for a briefing on Do-It-Yourself Divorce. Otherwise, try asking other guys who've had a divorce if they can recommend a good matrimonial lawyer. Or ask your own lawyer who he recommends.

It's official. One of you has gone to Court and filed the papers for "Legal Separation" or a "Complaint for Divorce". The Complaint and/or the Summons are issued. Then they are served by the sheriff's office on the other party, now called the defendant or respondent. The War has begun.

Contested Territory, also known as the Land of Demands, is a "mine, mine, mine" field in which each of you vents your anger and frustration by wanting it all. Until you resolve all issues, your divorce is considered "contested". It stays contested until you resolve all the issues through negotiations, or through a trial ending with the judge's decree.

At this mid-point very little makes sense. You wonder how you ever got into this mess. And how the hell you can ever get out! You may try to fix blame on your wife or to put the onus on yourself. You may decide to try to "get back together". Or you may decide to at least try for a civilized divorce. But nothing will seem to work.

Mediation is an optional route to divorce that keeps you mostly on the High Ground. A Mediator can help you and your wife talk things through. It is a short cut to the final decree. Click here for info on Mediators.

Either you both agree to a Temporary Settlement or the court can order it. Be very careful here, because what you think is temporary is often the basis of the final decree. This is where the unwary gentleman can lose custody, the house, the car, and their minds. Do not move out or give up anything here if you can help it.

When the temporary settlement is made you will find yourself wandering in this desert where only prickly things grow. You are still legally married, still negotiating terms of the final settlement which are hard to change from the temporary settlement, and you will still be paying the bills for all it.

During the Discovery procedure the Court will "swamp" you with orders to show all and tell all. Discovery includes copies of your tax returns, interrogatories, depositions, psychic evaluations, and social workers' reports. Her attorney is particularly looking for assets you might have squirreled away and not told her about.

90% of all divorce cases settle out of court. If you've gotten this far, you've probably seen why. Because divorce is a major pain in the assets. And going to trial is a very costly crap shoot. But sometimes a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do.

If you go to trial, you enter into a jungle of perilous proportions... into a place where lawyers are respected and judges rule.

Either you've gotten what you've fought for. Or she has. Although, if you've gone through a normal trial, you're probably both losers. If you ignore the judge's ruling, it could put you in contempt of court with consequences including fines and jail time.

It ain't over til it's over. And it is over now.

Congratulations. You can now legally go out and do it all over again.

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