Morality In An All Out Divorce War
Moral issues become less and less important as you are fighting for your life. There are very few limits to what to say about her, depending on who you say them to. What you do to her bloodsucker short of hiring a hit man is fair game. But there are limits.
Male honor must be upheld.
How Far Is Too Far?
Let's stay out of jail. If your act will put you in the slammer, don't do it. Not unless of course, you can do the time and come out holding a couple of million. Hey, then what the heck, go for it.
But there are some acts that go to far. And they should be obvious to any gentleman divorce warrior.
Acts of a War Criminal
As in any war, an attack on non-combatants is the act of a war criminal.
If your wife wants to !pull a Mia!, you probably can't stop the insane bitch, but don't stoop to that level. There are other methods of revenge that don't involve ruining the lives of children.
Using the kids as bargaining chips is sick. Poisoning the childrens' minds against members of their family is even sicker. Forcing children into a public battle where the other kids at school can see how low their parents have sunk... that is unforgivable.
Anyone who stoops to these sorts of female tactics.. well, that person is not only not very bright, but is also a disgrace to the male warrior race.
How To Deal With Noncombatants
The children are the most important of the non-combatants, but there is also extended family, friends you share, a possible business associates to consider.
Remember, this is not their battle. It is between you and her and the bloodsucking mercenary attorneys you've hired to do your dirty work.
Don't make anyone choose sides during the process. It's not fair to them or to you. Because you will probably be suffering from DMS and make about as much sense as a rabid squirrel trying to protect his nuts, they might not choose your side anyway. Then you've lost them. Maybe forever.
Keeping The Children Out Of The Line Of Fire
Tell them both you and she still love them. Explain that you are not divorcing them -- only each other. Get them to understand that you will still be their father and she will still be their mother. That they did nothing to cause this and they can do nothing to stop it. It is just one of those unfortunate things that happens to married people.
Even if you do all this correctly and honestly like a gentleman divorce warrior should, you may discover your spouse has broke your truce and has been "saying things" to the children about you. Don't try to deal with this during the divorce. Don't immediately try to make the kids understand your side. It will just turn into a pissing match with the children in the middle.
Today's kids are smarter and more sophisticated than you may give them credit for. They know what's what. They know what they see and what they feel. They have a good idea who the real bad guy is. A child who loves you will go on loving you.
After the divorce is over and the emotional stakes have been lowered, you can and should talk to them about it in non-aggressive rational manner. You can answer their questions and reassure them that they still have a daddy who loves them and who tried hard not to hurt them. Next.
Briefings